Happy Anniversary to my “Honey Do!”
31 years ago today we said, “I do!”
“Will you entertain happily together?” was not one of our vows!
Gratefully, we do entertain happily together. Like a lot of things in marriage, we had to figure a few things out. I find not everyone has worked this out as well as they’d like, which is why I address this very important area in the EE Workshop. If entertaining is going to be easy and fun, we need to play nice!
How to do this, you ask?
What are EE’s steps to Hosting Happiness with your Honey?
Establish what your spouse or partner enjoys doing and doesn’t, what this person is willing to do and isn’t. If there are things he’s not willing to do or doesn’t do well, this must be solved by doing it yourself or outsourcing. The same is true for ourselves, by the way. We are not going to be happy hosts if we’re always called upon to do things we don’t want to do or don’t do well. Examples. Ed enjoys grilling and carving, but beyond that, he’s not going to help me in the kitchen. He barely makes his own sandwich! He doesn’t clean the house, but he will provide a nice assist outdoors. He will set up the bar for small gatherings and make sure our guests have their first drink. Not making any promises on the refills. For small parties, I’m okay with everyone making themselves another and for large parties, we hire a bartender.
Consider the “Honey Do” list. For Ed and me it’s indispensable to our hosting happiness. Early on in our marriage, we established that he doesn’t like to be “nagged.” Well, who does? A constant, “honey-do this” or “do that” from me throughout the day felt like nagging. Our solution? I give him a “Honey Do” list the day of our dinner party, or a day or two in advance. He goes about his tasks as he would like without interference from me. He loves to show me his list with everything checked off! ✅
Know what to expect and accept that which we can’t change! I know that Ed will start to do a task I’ve asked him to do and that may lead him to do something I haven’t asked, which I would ideally rather be left for another time. Example. Once I asked Ed to sweep the front doorsteps, which he started doing about an hour before our guests were arriving. The next thing I knew, he was hosing down the front windows. His mother said his father often did things like this … this is the whole, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree thing. I know that on the day of a dinner party – right down to minutes before our guests arrive, I may find Ed immersed in something that is not essential for our evening. I roll with it! Remind me to tell you about the whole hair dying thing. 😬
Remember, “If mamma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” If we are stressed, rushed, and out of sorts, we convey this to everyone around us … our spouse, our children, and ultimately our guests. The key is to do as much as we can as far in advance as we can so we are relaxed and ready the day of our gathering. This makes everyone happy! 😍
Join me for the next 30 Days to Effortless Entertaining workshop! We’ll discuss the “Honey Do” and so many other topics on how to entertain graciously and easily. You’ll be ready and excited for a summer with the people you love. Register here!
From our home to yours,
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Honey Do List
Ed’s Honey Do!
I screenshot my notes and text to Ed or sometimes I write on this fun notepad!
- Check the bar
- Wine, add Rosé
- Check/wipe porch furniture
- Set up Bloody Mary Bar